Just another car journey.
And then the voice from the childseat…
The Bobcat: “I did see TWO LLAMAS in dat field.”
Mummy: “Two llamas? What were they doing?”
The Bobcat: “They were being in luuuuuuuurve.”
Mummy: “How could you tell?” [Slightly concerned at what reply might be coming.]
The Bobcat: “Because dey had love shapes in dere eyes.”
Solved: the mystery of why Darth was a crankypants.
To establish the existence, or not, of The infamous Tooth Fairy once and for all.
The Tooth Fairy does not exist. My parents are practising an arch deception upon me and my denturefications.
1.Put freshly lost tooth under pillow.
2. Do NOT tell ANY parents.
3. Disguise toothlessness with cunning aids e.g. vase of flowers, book, all of the food, balaclava, surgical mask.
4. Act completely unsuspiciously.
5. Go to sleep.
6. Check under pillow for evidence of cash/note/fairy (compressed).
Discovered signed letter from The Tooth Fairy under pillow at 0500hrs.
(Parent appeared equally as excited when given briefing of observations at 0502hrs.)
The Tooth Fairy exists! Parents exonerated.
Further research indicated:
How does The Tooth Fairy get into my house?
Where does The Tooth Fairy get the cash? (Does she work for the leprechauns?)
If someone ransoms The Tooth Fairy how much cash will they get?
How big are The Tooth Fairy’s pockets?
Why has The Tooth Fairy still not brought me the magic wand I asked for after loss of tooth #2? Is it because I ate both bags of Haribo from the Hallowe’en stash?
Systematic review of literature regarding existence of The Tooth Fairy:
Authors: Rowdy’s parents
Scene: and household the week before World Book Day.
“I want to be The Little Mermaid.”
“I want to be The Tiger Who Came to Tea.”
Brace, brace, brace and…LO! 0600hrs World Book Day.
“Muuuuuummmm. I don’t want to be the Little Mermaid anymore.”
Of course you don’t.
So they bundled themselves into new costumes while I thanked the potent fairy of miracles that they actually chose costumes they already had.
Once upon a time, Sleeping Beauty and The Gruffalo merrily traipsed through the snow to school where they spent approximately 5minutes before the MET office red warning came through and everyone had a snow day.
And they all lived happily ever after until the parents realised World Book Day would be back next week.
(But books are the cure.)
Me: “So what did you do at Forest School today?”
Fed an imaginary bear some leaves.
Drew a map of the Island of Bears on my belly.