Rowdy: “So in ‘Despicable Me’ where are the girls’ mummies and daddies?”
Mummy: “Either gone away, very poorly and unable to look after them any more or dead.”
Rowdy: “Oh. I do not want that to happen to you.”
Mummy: “What?”
[Rowdy pulls ‘dead’ face. With loll-out tongue and ‘dead’ sound effect.]
Mummy: “I’ll do my best to avoid death-incurring situations…”
Rowdy [thinking]: “…buuuuuuuuttttt, if it does happen to you then I want someone with long hair to look after me.”
Mummy: “Noted.”
Rowdy: “….and they have to be a girl.”
Mummy: ” I’ll make sure Daddy knows.”
Rowdy: “…and have glasses.”

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Fortunately, we know from this week’s Guest Parenter Expert (GPE), Mr M. Loaf, that Mummy’s current score of 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

By Rowdy’s standards Mummy is doing… adequately. We did check with her to see if all criteria listed would be disregarded if the contender for position of replacement Mummy (The Upgrade, in fact) gave her Haribo. The answer was that after bag #7 she’d probably consider this person slightly irresponsible and suspect.

Reassuring.