Fah-ree Park

Moving house is supposed to be one of the most stressful things you can do, yes?

Which is where an annual pass to a safari park comes in. It’s moving house with PR for the under 10s.

It’s the gift that keeps going. (It’s not a gift. We paid for it.)

There are down-sides obviously (the rides could be stationed well away from the animals) but they are heavily outweighed by the magic of being in the hills, around animals, with small people in small Landrovers. That’s what this particular time and space in history needs. Small people in small Landrovers.

Exhibit A

Merely minutes before the defendant had asserted in the strongest tones that she had not, nor ever had been, tired and that to argue otherwise was a malicious attack from persons intent on slandering her good-to-average name and that she’d take on the WHOLE LOT of you, that she was NOT HAPPY and RARARARARRARARRARRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

The prosecution rests. But not like Exhibit A.

Why no cardboard boxes?

For the curious there is a reason why there have been no posts for two weeks. The reason is Moving House. Another reason is Setting Up As Self-Employed.

Which is also why I’m now 35% gin.

We loved the forest we were in but we wanted to call Scotland ‘home’ again.

So, the obvious thing to draw would be an innumerable pile of cardboard boxes but ENOUGH WITH THE CARDBOARD BOXES so no cardboard boxes.

Instead this was a day spent getting to know the local area (Gartmorn Dam) while Sven was away at a job interview.

Rowdy and The Bobcat managed to personify Eddie Izzard’s description of shower dial effects: one second lobsterpot-hot and – with a slight degree of shift – freezy-FREEZY cold EVASIVE MANOUVRES!

So we had delightful gambolling through the pathways, one moment watching slugs and geese and the next “My legs are SO TIIIIIRRED. They have STOPPED WORKING” and “What about THE MIDGIES?!?! They will eat us ALIVE! There will only be BONES. Bones and a FAT FAT MIDGIE!!”

The situation below developed after I had issued VERY CLEAR instructions not to go into the water as I hadn’t brought any towels with me and then I naively turned round to get their waterproof trousers out of the kitbag.

P45 for Mr Stork

As you can tell from the cartoons I draw they are, in some ways, a love letter to my kids. A celebration of them via the exaggerated versions of themselves that are Rowdy and The Bobcat.

Now I’d have more little cherubs were it not for finances and the knowledge that if I have any more not only will I/spouse/both have a meltdown but we have enough trouble giving the two we have the attention and time that they want and need. Also me and pregnancy are not pals.

Before we met, Sven had not only decided to have 6 kids, he’d even picked out their names: Elspeth, Roisin, Grainne, Lachlan, Ruaridh and Seoras.

The kids know this. They are making repeated demands for the other 4. I had already negotiated Sven down to 3 when my pelvis gave out again and I realised trying to chase after a wilful, energetic toddler whilst using crutches was the stuff of which nightmares are made.

Rowdy wants – nay, DEMANDS – more minions for her army of ‘cuteness’ which she smugly assumes will bend to her will – even on the abundant evidence that the minion she already has is only 50% max. on board with that arrangement.

Also, neither of them actually know how babies are made. We’ve offered to explain, human body books have been glanced at but we think Rowdy still wants there to be some magic involved, so doesn’t want to know know yet. (The Bobcat likes the movie ‘Storks’.). I’m not claiming there isn’t magic involved (*massages Sven’s ego*) and it is slightly more romantic than “er…there’s a ….procedure…that mummies and daddies …go through” which I used to try to make an inclusive statement about breeding methods in 2019. It made it sounds like I was making a cameo in Star Trek. But it is more romantic than this:

Heaven & Earth

Another day of Rowdy and The Bobcat trying to make sense of the world and the people in the world and the actions of the people in the world. (Whatever their faiths their beliefs in free will and human dumbassery are strong.)

The Bobcat is interested in striking but (in all honesty) he’d support beanbags for crows if he thought it’d get him a day off school.

Maybe that’s what we could have in schools. Instead of a weekly pupil strike a weekly environment day, involving the local communities, putting heads together and acting on decisions to make meaningful local changes. Communities, including school, learning from each other. Being directly involved in the physical environments around them, around us.

Sometimes kids ask the really good ‘why’ questions. Sometimes they also have the nail-on-the-head answers.